ROBIN & MARIAN (1976)

This movie marks the point in time at which Audrey begins sporting her least classy hairdo of all time (which continues to make an appearance in Bloodline and They All Laughed), and it’s really not doing her any favors. Of all of the movies in which Audrey Hepburn plays a nun, this one is undoubtedly the worst (okay, fine, there are only two, but still). This movie decidedly marked the end of the peak of Audrey’s career (understandably, considering she had just returned from a 9 year hiatus), and by that I mean I began watching this movie and was so bored 40 minutes into it that I decided that there was nothing else to do but go to bed. Yes, as a 19 year old college student who hadn’t gone to bed before midnight in several months, I went to bed at a whopping 10:30pm, so if that doesn’t tell you how desperate I was to avoid this movie, I don’t know how else to effectively communicate that. I did eventually finish the movie though, more than a week after starting it. I’m mostly grumpy about the movie because the plot has SO MUCH POTENTIAL—Robin Hood returns from 20 years of fighting in the Crusades and tries to reunite with Maid Marian, who is now a nun and wants absolutely nothing to do with him. The second half of the movie was significantly better than the first, although still quite disappointing when compared with the potential the plot had. The ending was nuts (I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say I almost chucked my laptop across the room) and I saw far more of Sean Connery’s exposed legs than I would have ever cared to, courtesy of the costume department. And all throughout the movie, I couldn’t tell if the goal was to be humorous and it missed the mark by a long shot, or if it was supposed to be a drama.  All I can say is, someone PLEASE remake this movie, and please actually do it justice this time.